Peaceful

The worst part is having to lie about it

The worst part about spending Christmas alone is not the fact of being alone on Christmas, it is that you have to lie to nearly everyone you know about it. You can't tell the truth because then people invite you over out of pity. And I don't want to spend Christmas with people who only invited me because they felt bad that I had no where else to go.

Everyone thinks I am in Michigan, except the people in Michigan. They think I am somewhere else. But really I am home alone.

Sure, it depresses me to spend Christmas alone. But my options were alone, or go back to Michigan and spend Christmas Eve with my dad's family, and wake up on Christmas Day and spend it alone. Either way I am alone. But this way I didn't have to spend it with people I don't like anyway and I can just wake up and be alone in my own house instead of waking up alone in my brother's.

My brother is lucky that he has a nice family to spend Christmas with. But I don't have a significant other so I don't have anywhere to go.

It's just another day right.

Today is my 3 year AA anniversay

This time around it just feels like another day, like it isn't a big deal - not like the first one. Anyway, I'm glad to have made it this far. I'll just keep going.

Today is the anniversary of

The last day that I did breast cancer treatment. That was two years ago. Technically they count your years of survival from your date of diagnosis. That was two years and seven months ago, almost to the day. But I consider today to be the day that I officially survived. You would think it would be an easier day given that I survived and all, but it isn't.