Maybe, just maybe

Hi folks.  I know I didn't really post in the month of January, but hopefully I'm back.  I didn't post mainly because I had nothing to say.  The year is off to a so so start.  I guess I have no complaints really, other than about work, so I won't bother to go there.  Except to say that it is crunch time on hours again, trying to cram enough in at the end to hit 2000 by April 30th.  I really don't like this time of year.  It's very stressful and it feels like I just went through this.  Wow how time flies.  Last year I missed the mark by 40 hours.  I probably could have hit it, but I basically knew I was going to miss it so I didn't give it that extra push.  Coming in 40 hours under looks better than 5.  This year I basically have no choice but to hit it.  I don't really know what will happen if I don't hit it (honestly probably nothing because my job security is so good), but I've basically been told that I have to hit, though not in those words.  Unless...

I've been job searching, though barely.  I've made decisions about what I want and it's time to try to execute on those decisions.  There was a job that I applied for last August that I really wanted.  I don't remember if I mentioned it.  Anyway, the only thing I can tell you is that it's in New York and it's for a major TV network.  I can't tell you anything else about it because if I do, and I manage, by some miracle to get it, you might be able to track me down in real life.  It's a great job though, perfect for my background and experience.  It really feels like an opportunity of a life time when it comes to making a transition out of law firm life and into an in house counsel position.  I'm not sure I could dream up a better opportunity than this one.  Of course I am sure there will be other positions out there, but unfortunately, the area of law that I do is so specialized that an opportunity like this one is hard to come by.  So it feels huge.

So I applied last August and I heard nothing, not even a rejection, so I figured they hired someone and moved on.  I basically gave up on it after a couple of months, though I was annoyed that I didn't get a rejection letter.  How rude.  Well, I got an email yesterday that the position had been put on hold pending a corporate restructuring, and now that such process is over, they have just reopened the position.  The email said I should submit an updated resume through the new recruiting system.  I wonder if they emailed everyone who applied asking for them to resubmit their information, or if they perhaps did some pre-screening of the resumes?  Needless to say, I am beyond excited to find out that the position is open and that I still have a shot.

I have some recent really great experience to update my resume with.  Remember that special project that I was forced to do that I complained about - well it's perfect experience for this job.  What a fortunate coincidence.  My current position matches the job description exactly.  I feel like if I could just get an interview, I might stand a shot at it.  I really want this job badly.  I have another lead on another in house position which would be located in Chicago.  I have mixed feelings about that one but it's probably worth exploring.

Anyway, I can hardly contain my excitement about this.  Tonight I am going to update my resume, make sure every last word is prefect and send it off.  Keep your fingers crossed for me.  Something about this whole thing just feels right.

I tried

I tried on Friday to make it home for the memorial service but the weather didn't cooperate.  In fact, I spent 3 hours in the car and I managed to get no where.   At the border of Michigan and Indiana I decided to turn back because the blizzard was pretty bad and my dad said it was snowing all the way to Ann Arbor.  I feel bad but I think turning around was the right thing to do.

I know I haven't posted much lately, there hasn't been much going on.  A special project at work that I was forced to work on since October 27th is ending next week on the 19th.  Thank god.  The whole experience has been miserable but I can't exactly tell the partner that.  He asks on occasion whether it has been a worthwhile experience and I can't tell him what I really think.  I just have to nod and say yes and agree with him when the truth is, I don't agree with him at all.  It has cost me hundreds of dollars out of my own pocket that is not being reimbursed by the firm and a countless amount of time.  I have tried really hard not to say anything about it here and to not complain about it at all.  I think I succeeded at that by not posting much at all.

I will be celebrating on he 19th, some how.

Playing hooky

No matter how many days I have gotten off work in the past month, I can't seem to get motivated.  I had more than a few days off in the month of December right up through New Years and it just doesn't seem to be enough.  Usually after time off I feel like I have renewed energy and I feel ready to get back into things again.  Not so this year.

And then came the dreaded raise.  It was a great raise, but I always dread raise time because rather than enjoying it and feeling like I deserve it, I find a way to feel guilty and bad about it.  Do I have to work harder now that I got it, or is this like a reward for past behavior?  I haven't figured it out.

But anyway, about the time off.  I'm kind of doing a bad thing.  I am supposed to go to Michigan tomorrow to attend a memorial for a family member who passed away in the fall.  It looks like the weather isn't going to cooperate with the drive which means I might not make it.  It also means I am off tomorrow.  My colleague is having to do a presentation for a client that I would have had to do were it not for this day off.  And rather than changing the plans last minute and going to the client with her, or instead of going into the office and actually working which I should do, I am going to get a pedicure.

I know, I'm a terrible person.