Go ahead, ask me a dumb question

When you are a lawyer, every random person wants to ask you weird legal questions and they assume that you must know everything about anything legal, just because you are a lawyer. I can assure you that I do not. Majority of the questions are down right dumb. My mother does this all the time - calls me with a weird question. 3/4 of the times that she calls it is to ask me a weird legal question. 1/4 of the time, it is drunk dialing. More on that later.

A couple of days ago she called me to find out how to obtain a police report in the county that she lives in. My response: I don't know, just call the police station and ask. Duh. And then she says to me, well, why don't you know - you are a lawyer, aren't you supposed to know this kind of thing? Uh no - why the hell would I? Obnoxious. I told her either call the records department or go down there to city hall, it's on the first floor (why do I even know this?). I even had to look up the phone number for her. My mother doesn't even know what kind of law I practice, nor does she know the name of the firm I work for (nor does she care probably).

One of her friends once called me to ask me this: if my boyfriend has $500 in a bank account (and he dies) and I want to get the money out before his mother can get it, would it be illegal for me to forge his signature on a check and withdraw the money? Response: yes, that would be a crime.

Then she asked me if it would be illegal for her to forge her signature on the title to the boat so she could transfer the title to her name and sell it. Response: if the question has the word forge in it, assume it is illegal.

I know how ridiculous these questions seem, but I am not making it up. People call me and ask me these things. My mother has even given out my phone number without my permission.

There are some things that I don't mind helping people with, and certain people that I will help no matter what - but those are the people who ask real legitimate questions. I should have kept a list all these years of the stupid things people have asked me. I wish I could remember more of them.

If you landed here because

You are trying to figure out how to get cat pee out of carpet, use white vinegar and baking soda. It will get the smell out - but it will ruin your vacuum.

You are trying to get nail polish out of a porous tile floor, use a lot of nail polish remover, then Comet, then Oxy Clean. Hopefully the nail polish wasn't dry when you discovered it.

You don't like peeing at rest stops - pee at hotels instead. Just walk in like you belong there.

You have a pain under your arm - no, it's probably not cancer. But have it checked out if it doesn't go away in 10 days.

You can't concentrate - neither can I. I don't have any answers for you. But when you figure it out, stop back here and let me know.

You like to wear shoes without socks in the winter - so do I. I think it's perfectly appropriate.

You are wondering whether it will pass - it will. I promise. It just might suck really bad and be really painful before it does.

You have some questions about removing your catalytic converter and you happen to live in Massachusetts - I don't have any answers for you either. I never did figure out if it's legal to remove your catalytic converter in that state.

You are wondering about donkey auctions - we left before the donkey was auctioned. But I still would love to know what it sold for.

You are looking for pumpkin carving ideas - I do not recommend attempting to carve a relief with a u-gouge linoleum cutter. I stabbed myself with it and it took several practice pumpkins before I gave up and got one of those cool pattern books.

You are homesick for a place that does exist - so am I. I don't know what to tell you. So am I.

These are the top searches that have landed people at my blog recently. Sorry, folks, I am pretty much no help at all.

Did I mention that I got a new car?

I got a new car. I now drive a brand new Honda CRV. Tea green. Tan leather interior. Black accent. I love it. No more Passat with all the problems. I am totally turned off from German cars now. Darn. Oh well. Now I just need to purchase the all season floor mats and I'll be all set. Yay!

From 40 feet in the air

The lack of accountability

People in AA talking about needing accountability to stay sober. Needing someone to know where you, what you are up to etc. Whenever I go into a potentially dangerous situation, I always make sure someone knows where I'm at. That way they will ask me later what happened. That's creating accountability.

So the lack of accountability coupled with this phenomena where we don't do what we should do even when it's good for us - you know, I know you all do that from time to time also. Those two things combined resulted in me skipping one medication tonight. Why? I don't know. Because I have no accountability. Except you dear Internet. And even you can't make me take it.

I skipped the one that I consider least critical. I seriously do not have a reason for skipping. It actually makes me sleep (which I don't when I don't take it) and it also appears to cut my anxiety level down to nothing. So why oh why did I skip it? Like I said, sometimes I have to force myself to take my meds and then report to someone that I took them, or tell them that I'm thinking about not taking them so they can tell me to take them. How old am I?

Well, I've recently been told in no uncertain terms that I need to grow up, i.e., do what I am supposed to do and complain about it all I want, but do it anyway.

Yet tonight I still didn't do it. What's wrong with me? I am about to crash from some other sleep meds though so this isn't getting edited.

Good night. See you tomorrow.

It made me want to post

I was just looking through my statcounter to see what searches have been landing people at my blog and I think the number one search that lands people here is "inability to concentrate" (because I have an old post titled that). Folks, I don't have the solution for that problem. I wish I did.

And then I read old posts from last December, right around the date that I wrote the post about not being able to concentrate, and it made me want to post again. So I am back. Hi Jod.

The only reason I can think of for the fact that I haven't posted hardly at all in three weeks is because I have been bored. Bored bored bored. My life, it's boring. There is no substance to it. I need to change that but have been so far unable to motivate myself. I feel like I have plateaued at "as good as it gets." Am I content with this?

Anyway, as for my mood, that's on track. I've had over three weeks of evenness in a row, with no real dips to speak of. I did have a few crying fits but I label that normal. I haven't had any mania either. Darn, I like that. I have had anxiety though and lots of it. I think much of the anxiety is surrounding work but now that seems to have dissipated and I have become comfortable with the idea of working again.

I am now on three different medications. I don't know how I feel about that. I have this ongoing resistance to being on meds. I have always resisted it. I resisted it until it got so bad I couldn't handle it anymore. But see now that things are good, I have started to forget. Was it really that bad? Was it bad in a dangerous way? It's like the way I used to drink - seriously, was it that bad? I am always tempted by the thought of going off meds. I sometimes have to force myself to take them. I haven't figured out quite what this resistance is all about, or why I would give up even (which let me tell you, has been amazing) just so I didn't have to take something. It's screwed up, I know.

Okay, I am going to try to post every day for a week. I promise. And I know you don't believe me.

Pushing the elevator button

65 times does not make the elevator come faster. Pushing it really really really hard doesn't either. Just so you know.

I said I would post yesterday. I lied.

I'll post later.

Still kicking

Hey folks. I am still here. I haven't retreated or anything or decided to stop posting forever, I'm just on hiatus - I just haven't posted and I don't have a reason. Sorry. I know folks are checking. I'll post later. Promise.

Like riding in a wagon over a sidewalk with some huge cracks in it

My mood used to be more like a roller coaster ride. You are up and down and no plateaus really, and it's fast. Now it is more like riding in a wagon over a sidewalk with some huge cracks in it. It's a smooth ride sometimes - I get the plateau, I like it. And then wham, you are going a little to fast over the too smooth sidewalk and you hit a huge crack. These days, it's like that. The problem is, when I hit a crack, I don't snap out of it as quickly as my doctor wants me to. She says I should snap out of it in a day. It takes more like 5. I would say in the past 2 weeks, I haven't been very even. I've been mostly a little low and then I had two days of up, probably thanks to an unauthorized experiment with my medication. Ah well, what can you do - I don't always listen perfectly.

In any event, I feel still on the low side today so I called my doctor back. It might be time to add another drug. She said we could try adding a third one once these two level out. I keep feeling frustrated with this whole thing because it has been 3 months and I am still not leveled out; but I have to at least admit that my mood is significantly better than it was 3 months ago. I have to just remember that.