It's about that time again

Doesn't it seem like I just went through this bullshit of having a mammogram? It does, doesn't it? Well it's been almost 6 months because I have another one two weeks from today. It's about that time when I start freaking out and my days start to be ruined in anticipation of it. I am trying not to have that happen, but to no avail. I know the odds are in my favor, I know all of the statistics, it's not making me feel better. My oncologist is way too overly confident and flat out says that it's not going to happen again. Her confidence does not make me feel better at all, it makes me nervous actually. After this mammogram, they switch to once a year. I am not sure whether I feel better or worse about that. On the one hand maybe it is easier to put it behind you, but on the other hand - are you really being checked and watched closely enough? I just don't know how I feel about it. Sometimes I wish I would have had a double mastectomy so that I wouldn't have to go through this. Did I leave myself in a position to get it again when I could have prevented it? I don't know. I know that it's still an option but my doctor doesn't recommend it at this point. Partly because of my age, partly because I had radiation and partly because the odds are in my favor. But weren't the odds in my favor in the first place? Meaning this never should have happened to begin with.