I still haven't quite sold myself on the idea of the new computer. I've wanted it for quite a while, and my J key is broken, and can't be fixed. Well, maybe if I took it to the apple store, they could fix it. But still. I'd like a new computer, I just feel guilty spending the money on myself. I don't feel bad when I spend money on other people, just when I spend money on myself.
Especially now, given the economy, I feel like I should save every last penny just in case (isn't that what I've been doing for years already anyway?), because even though I have job security through October - after October, I don't know, I don't want to be overly confident.
And then there is this part of me that feels like I should reward myself after these cancer follow-up appointments because the stress of them is so intense, I feel like I should do something nice for myself for having gotten through it and for some reason that means spending money.
Anyway, I decided I can have all three if I want to, so, I booked a day spa trip, I am going outlet mall shopping this afternoon, and then depending on how much money I spend buying whatever I want (which could very well be nothing because whenever I set out on a mission to spend money, I can't find anything I want), I might buy the computer also. We'll see.
The relief of knowing I am okay has finally set in. I feel good.
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