A job but not a life

I have been thinking about my life here in Chicago, or lack thereof, since I want to move out of here. And I realized, I have a job here, but not a life. I don't even have rock climbing these days because of the surgery on my foot. I used to have more of a life here, but it was work to maintain it and I sort of let it slip away.... I just don't go to as many meetings as I used to and I don't spend time with the people I used to spend time with. I haven't put effort into staying in touch with them. I've tried to think about the possibility of work saying no, you can't move, and what I would do since I probably wouldn't be able to find another job. I wonder if I could find a way to be happy here. I guess the answer to that is I would have to. I know some people would label this taking the geographic cure and wherever you go there you are and blah blah. But that isn't what this is.

Right now the focus of my life is my job. That's all I have really. It's all I have and it's not even what I want it to be. I have no real life to speak of. I want to have a life and then have my job, the significance of which would be diminished and perhaps it would be more enjoyable that way. The thing is though, I want to have that life somewhere else. I imagine going back to Ann Arbor, which has its definite downsides, and I would instantly have a lot more of a life than I have here. It's like I have this already made life there that I have managed to hang on to enough that I could fit right back into it as if I never left. Going to Vermont would be a little more like here in that I would only have my brother and sister-in-law and would basically have to make a life, which is, well, what I am having a hard time doing here. So would I be able to pull it off there and would it make me happy? I have no way of knowing in advance I guess.

I'm so torn over where to go and what to do and how quickly to try to make the move. Ann Arbor makes the most sense but I wonder if there are too many demons there. I miss it though. There are things about it that I miss. I never in a million years thought I would be going back there, like ever. Vermont on the other hand would be like a whole new world and I am not sure I have it in me to start over again.