Spa day three: not Wyatt

My friend and I signed up to do the Equine Experience fully expecting Wyatt to be the facilitator.  Wyatt is the reason we signed up.  Well it turned out that someone else was facilitating yesterday's session - someone in training to replace Wyatt when he eventually retires.  We felt bad ditching the session just because it wasn't Wyatt so we went anyway.  I can you tell you from experience, having spent time with Wyatt and now without Wyatt, that it simply isn't the same.  Wyatt has a way about him - that well, people who work at the spa say to prepare yourself because Wyatt makes everyone cry.

The first time I did the Equine Experience here at Miraval, Wyatt reduced me to tears in front of the whole group in a matter of seconds by asking a simple question which brought up the whole of my issues all at once - what lies at the core of my personality, how I feel, what I think, my fears, my behaviors, my sense of myself in the world.  I have this thing, that I can only describe as a thing, and it colors everything about everything.  And no he doesn't leave you sitting there crying.  We worked through the issue and it was painful, but in the aftermath, I realized a really profound kind of thing had happened - some of my beliefs about myself in the world had changed.  For one thing, I was no longer ashamed.

Today we are redoing the Equine Experience because we double checked to make sure that the session is being facilitated by Wyatt.  I have unanswered questions from yesterday's session.  As part of the session you do this thing in what they call the "round pen" where you direct the horse's movements with your body's energy and your intention.  It''s interesting for a couple of reasons, in particular, the reaction I had.  The facilitator said that most people feel more comfortable in the round pen exercise because there is a sense of distance with the horse.  And that this is lots of times true for people who like distance in their relationships.  The thing is, I had quite the opposite reaction.  I happen to like distance in my relationships.  With the exception of very few of my relationships, I maintain quite a good bit of distance.  However, I was terribly uncomfortable in the round pen where there was space between myself and the horse.

I don't understand why I have the opposite reaction so I want to ask Wyatt.  Also, the facilitator told me that we have less control over things in life than we think we do and obviously we have no control over other people.  Certainly there is some truth to that.  She said we have no more control over the horse than we have over anything.  And I am confused because isn't that what we were doing - controlling the horse with our energy?  I have to ask Wyatt, because if we weren't controlling the horse then what the hell were we doing?