Over and over, and over

I keep replaying the conversation in my head, and all the things that I didn't say to defend myself.  There was so much to be said that I could have said but didn't, because I didn't want to be defensive and what was the point anyway.

I did eventually defend myself in a later conversation with the head of our practice group.  I have not spoken to the partner who lied to me and stabbed me in the back though, and I do not intend to.  I have nothing nice to say to him and he would only get defensive.  As much as it is eating me up inside, I simply can't see anything good coming out of me telling him to go to hell and shove it up his ass.

I am glad that I was able to tell the head of our practice group my perspective on things and bring a few things to his attention that he was not aware of.  I think he was mostly uninvolved in what was going on and simply going along with the things that the partner decided to do to me.  Also, the conversation alleviated some concerns that I had.

In the end though, it doesn't change things.  These people that I trusted to have my back, who had always been supportive and really good to me, turned on me.  I am not sure I can get over the way the partner treated me.  The accusations that he made, the lies that he told.  I am not sure how long that will be eating me alive inside.  I guess I have some control over that.  I guess it will eat me alive until I don't let it anymore.

For now though, the more I think about it, the more angry I get.