Christmas Eve

I meant to post after my visit home that everything turned out fine.  All of the anxiety... for nothing really.  I got to see the people that I wanted to see and, well, even a few I didn't want to see.  But overall it was a nice trip home.  I wasn't done with Christmas shopping and I'm still not - so I guess I will be sending presents late this year.  I just wasn't into it for some reason.  Nothing feels Christmasy to me.

Although, I'm feeling a little bit of that Christmas Eve sadness, being that I am home completely alone.  It's not fair to say that I have no where to go because I am of course invited to my cousin's house on my dad's side of the family to celebrate Christmas Eve.  So I made a conscious choice not to go.  And I am confident that it was the right one.  It's just not where I want to be.  There is no where that I want to be really.

It just means that I am here alone on Christmas Eve and I would be alone tomorrow too except that I am going to New York city to visit a very good friend.  I'm sad though that I don't have what my brother has.  He is surrounded by my sister-in-laws really nice family for Christmas.  He has a place where he belongs.  I don't belong anywhere.

So today for Christmas Eve I went out shopping because I needed a different wallet for taking to NY because I want to be able to stick it in my inside coat pocket and not carry a purse around.  Also, I was going to buy the coffee pot, but they were out of it.  Drat.

Then I went to Costco and wandered around.  They had a version of the coffee pot but it wasn't the right one.

Then I came home and did a massive cleaning of the master bathroom and completely reorganized my extra bedroom closet so I would have more storage space.  I have an entire side of the close freed up.  Yay.  Now I need to reorg the pantry.

Then I played Monopoly on my iPod and lost, loaded my music on it.  And now I am posting.

Oh, and I started packing for tomorrow.

Happy holidays!