Saturday, September 27, 2008

If you landed here because

You are trying to figure out how to get cat pee out of carpet, use white vinegar and baking soda. It will get the smell out - but it will ruin your vacuum.

You are trying to get nail polish out of a porous tile floor, use a lot of nail polish remover, then Comet, then Oxy Clean. Hopefully the nail polish wasn't dry when you discovered it.

You don't like peeing at rest stops - pee at hotels instead. Just walk in like you belong there.

You have a pain under your arm - no, it's probably not cancer. But have it checked out if it doesn't go away in 10 days.

You can't concentrate - neither can I. I don't have any answers for you. But when you figure it out, stop back here and let me know.

You like to wear shoes without socks in the winter - so do I. I think it's perfectly appropriate.

You are wondering whether it will pass - it will. I promise. It just might suck really bad and be really painful before it does.

You have some questions about removing your catalytic converter and you happen to live in Massachusetts - I don't have any answers for you either. I never did figure out if it's legal to remove your catalytic converter in that state.

You are wondering about donkey auctions - we left before the donkey was auctioned. But I still would love to know what it sold for.

You are looking for pumpkin carving ideas - I do not recommend attempting to carve a relief with a u-gouge linoleum cutter. I stabbed myself with it and it took several practice pumpkins before I gave up and got one of those cool pattern books.

You are homesick for a place that does exist - so am I. I don't know what to tell you. So am I.

These are the top searches that have landed people at my blog recently. Sorry, folks, I am pretty much no help at all.

2 comments:

Aunt Becky said...

Bwahahahahaha!

Magpie said...

People are wacky. That's all there is to it.