Just because I haven't been posting, doesn't mean that anything is wrong. Things are fine. I am feeling conflicted about how to talk about it, so for now, let's just leave it as things are fine - and maybe this isn't the right avenue to explore certain feelings. We will see I guess. Right now I think I am just feeling like I can't talk about things here. That bothers me of course. And I need to come to some kind of resolution about how to continue to use this blog.
On the upside, we are at Miraval and having a great time. I'll admit that I am having a hard time relaxing and getting into the groove of the place. Sometimes it takes a day or two to really chill out, though I hoped it would happen immediately for me this time. With all the stress and change that I have going on in my life right now, I guess it shouldn't surprise me that I can't get relaxed. I have my first spa service tonight so that should help.
I guess I am also feeling a bit of, hmm, what's the word, nervous - because I think I am really in for some emotional work while I am here that I may not be prepared for and that I hadn't expected to happen. I have heard that this is common and happens to many people - that they get here, to this totally safe place where everything is taken care of for you, and then they have an emotional breakdown. That hasn't happened to me in my past 4 trips. I think this time might be the kicker. I have a good amount of time booked with Wyatt which I think is really important and I am also doing the world famous spa service called "Spirit Flight" which my roommate, who did it last year, can only describe as an exorcism. Do I need one of those? Shit - I kind of feel like I do.
Anyway, tomorrow we start doing challenges and we see Wyatt. It's about to get interesting. I'll keep you posted.
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