I guess I went MIA for like a month almost. Whoops. I didn't mean to. I went to Florida at the end of March and then straight to Vermont when I got back at the beginning of April - and I guess I just haven't felt like writing. I'll post a few more pictures from my trip to Vermont when I have a chance to get them off of my phone or my Facebook page. Anyway, there is much going on.
For starters, it's May 1st. Yikes. May is really an emotional month for me. My birthday is on the 17th and I've always hated my birthday. And as you know, it is also my breast cancer anniversary. I will officially be a 6 year breast cancer survivor on the 15th. At this time, six years ago - I was almost 5 months sober, I had been living in Chicago for two and a half weeks, I had been at a new job for a week, I was right smack in the middle of trying to figure out if this enormous lump I had was a cyst or not...and the rest is, pretty much contained in this blog because per my brother's suggestion, I started this blog when I had breast cancer, to write about it I guess, process it etc. and I've been posting ever since. And here we are, almost 6 years later. There is the me before and the life I had and the me after and the life I have and I am not the same person. I know that I have something that I need to say about everything I went through, but you will have to wait for that because I'm not ready to write it yet.
In other news, I have a really important interview next Tuesday. It's a good job with a good company. It would be interesting. The timing is just right. Fingers crossed for me!
The biggest news is that this coming Sunday, in T minus 5 days, Paul arrives, for well, forever? We don't know actually for sure yet if he is going back to Canada to work for a few months or not. Our plans have changed several times re immigration issues and it depends in part on my job situation. But he will be here at least for May and June. We are taking an amazing vacation to Miraval in Arizona from the 20th to the 29th and wouldn't it be great if I had a job to start when I got back? If so, if I do, we will be moving in July to a new apartment in a different neighborhood in Manhattan.
And what is going through my mind right now? Well, I would be lying if I said the only thing I am feeling is excitement, because the truth is, it's a little scary. I mean no matter how sure I am, or we are, about what we are doing, in just a few days, my life is about to change, drastically, in ways that I am probably not even able to anticipate. I mean, I haven't dated anyone since I had breast cancer and my relationship at the time came undone. And I was pretty committed to just being alone, getting a sperm donor, living with my best friend in NYC. And now Paul is getting off of a plane on Sunday with an engagement ring in his pocket (I hope he doesn't give it to me in the airport!), and my cat is going to lose his spot on the bed and and I had to make space in the closet (which trust me was not easy)... and my roommate, is, you know, losing her roommate. In a lot of ways this is hard. My life has kind of been in upheaval since I moved to NYC - and here we go, new job, new apartment, new...life...again.... Don't get me wrong, I'm not questioning my judgment or my decisions, I'm just being honest. This is hard. I'm not expecting this to be easy or perfect. But isn't it kind of exciting?
I got to say hello to his parents the other day when he got back to Canada, for the first time since I was 18. His mom started crying because she is so happy that we are happy. And she wanted to tell me how excited she is to welcome me back into the family and to let me know that she and his dad will be supportive in any way they can. She said she is excited to be a part of this journey, and boy, has it been a journey.
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