"I have a pain under my arm." "Do you want to talk to a psychologist?"

So I went to the doctor for the pain I have under my right arm today - my medical oncologist. Because they tell you that pain is the indicator of cancer spread - bone cancer that is. But pain seems pretty vague to me - and although I have asked for the specifics of what this pain would feel like - no one seems to be able to describe it satisfactorily. At least - not so that I feel comfortable judging whether every little pain may qualify. Though she keeps reminding me that I have odds on my side - overwhelmingly. The fact is though the anxiety that I wrote about yesterday, it is affecting my ability to live - sort of, lately anyway. I mean, I have called her like 4 times in the past month, unable to decide whether the pain under my arm is surgical related or something else. So today, she told me to come see her. The exchange literally went like this:

Doctor: "How are you?"
Me: "Paranoid apparently."
Doctor: What's going on?"
Me: "There is pain under my right arm."
Doctor: "Do you want to see a psychologist?"

Ha ha ha. I just have to laugh. I mean, it is kind of funny. But the fact is, if you were me, you would be paranoid too and you wouldn't be sleeping either, or able to concentrate, at all. Anyway, I said sure, and the guy she referred me to who took my insurance happened to be available one hour later so I went and bought pants and went back. It all happened to so fast - here I was resisting the whole thing, claiming I couldn't find anyone who took my insurance with the proper background - that being cancer survivors and alcoholism - I figured well, this guy has the cancer survivor stuff covered - my doctor has referred people to him before. She tells me he is great and he won't need to refer me to anyone else. I think yeah right.

Anyway, this is a testament to just how responsive my higher power actually is - like I frequently say God puts people in my life for a reason. I start talking - telling my story, of getting sober, anxiety, OCD, moving, marriage, divorce, surviving cancer, my childhood, my parents. Well, he spends his life exclusively counseling cancer survivors, turns out he's been sober 18 years, works a program, has a sponsor etc. and OCD - he has that too. Actually, he is from my home town also. Before I even knew it, he was scheduling another appointment with the psychiatrist in that office to talk to him about whether I would consider taking something very short term for this anxiety and OCD problem I am having. I suppose now I have to go and explore this one - but I have to say, I am still leaning strongly against it - though my higher power is apparently pushing me in that direction.