In a sudden wave of motivation

I loaded the dishwasher. Ha ha.

Okay, seriously, all day long, I fantasized about what time I would get to go to bed. I keep moving it earlier and earlier in my head - well, in practice actually. First it was 11, then 10:30, then 10:00, then 9:30. Then I jumped all the way from 9:30 - in my head - to 7:30. I've yet to go to bed at 7:30, but doesn't sleeping from 7:30 p.m. until like 9 in the morning sound amazing? This just isn't like me. One might argue that I am just catching up on sleep, but I don't need a lot of sleep - so, what the heck is wrong with me?

Anyway, of course I ended up at work until almost 9 - which was not part of the fantasy that I was having earlier. So here we are at 9:30, not sleeping, and also not feeling tired. Hmm - maybe loading the dishwasher gave me a sudden spurt of adrenaline. I've decided that even though my doctor has prescribed me Lunesta to sleep (because the Lexapro initially sent me way over to the other side - and I was getting up at 4 a.m. every day), that I am not taking it anymore. I simply don't think it is a good idea. She has assured me that I can't get addicted - but in my little ole head, anything can happen.

Besides, I feel lethargic, unmotivated, apathetic, indifferent. I feel depressed and like sleeping constantly and I think it may be Lunesta related. If my options are no anxiety, but little sleep, coupled with motivation and a positive attitude; or, no anxiety, too much sleep, no motivation and pure and utter apathy and indifference - I'd rather get up at 4 a.m. for a while. Amazing things can be accomplished at 4 a.m.

I just don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on taking Lexapro yet, but I also think I am moving in an unhealthy direction. We'll see I guess.