Nerves

Every time I go home to Michigan I get nervous.  I question whether it is really a good idea to go or whether maybe I have lost my mind.  Usually I think maybe I have lost my mind.  I am thinking I have lost my mind.  I get nervous to the point of feeling physically nervous like days in advance.  Doesn't that kind of make it seem like I shouldn't go?  I feel that way every time and every time I go anyway.  And I get about half way there and think to myself, yup, this was a mistake.  Yet I continue because I've gone too far to turn around and go back.  I don't know what it is about the place.  I don't have all bad memories of living there so it can't be that the bad ones outweigh the good ones.  I just don't know exactly what the problem is.

I am planning to go to Michigan this Memorial Day weekend.  It's a good time to go (or is it) because it's a long weekend and honestly, I have no plans to be a in Michigan at any other point this year.  The holidays are questionable, likely I won't go home for those, and if I take any time off during the rest of the year it would be to go to Vermont to visit my brother and his family or to New York to visit a good friend of mine.

Anyway, I am going.  But I don't feel quite right about it.