It's not that

Early this morning I had a dream that the power was out.  It was so dark in the house that I couldn't figure out a way to see my watch.  I woke up and saw that it was 7 and panicked about my 8 am phone call because I might not make it to work on time for it.  Then I realized it was Sunday.  I guess it has become normal to have only one day off.

I never wanted this to be a place where I talked about my job.  And basically for the whole time I have been posting here, I have said very little to nothing about it.  That's because I know how it is perceived.  It is perceived as whining and complaining and being ungrateful.  And it's not that.  I am not ungrateful.  I'm just venting so naturally I have bad things to say.  There are of course good things to say also, it's just why would I write about that.  And some of my concerns are legitimate as they relate to a lack of productivity and communication.  The lack of communication has gotten worse and worse to the point of affecting productivity among other things.

Anyway, I never meant for it to be a place where I talked about it or said bad things about it.  It's true that I am not happy with the way the year turned out, and I am under a tremendous amount of pressure right now and extremely stressed, and cracking a bit under the weight of it.  Just because I am not happy about what is going on at the moment, the level of stress and as I said, the communication issues, that doesn't mean I am ungrateful.  It just helps to vent it that's all.  I mean the most prominent thing in my life right now, the thing that is overwhelming everything, is my job.  I need to vent sometimes and express what I think are legitimate complaints, if you want to call them that.  The fact that I can't get feedback from the partner is a real legitimate problem, affecting my ability to finish things.

I know I haven't really said all that much about it, just a few posts lately, but I guess I liked it better the other way.  I liked it better before when I said nothing about it.  So I think I am going to go back to not talking about it.  I think anyway.