The sky isn't falling

I thought for sure this morning when I said the word "move" that the sky was going to fall on top of me.  I thought there would be an element of shock.  A degree of panic.  Some freaking out and some definite alarm.

There was nothing.  Perhaps just a tiny little bit of surprise.  I made it very clear that I don't want to leave this job.  And he made it very clear that he doesn't want me to.  So at least we are on the same level.  He said he would give it more thought and think about how we should approach the head of the group.  He didn't say yes no problem at all, but he didn't say no way in hell.  He was supportive - just not definitive in either direction.  I think where we are with this is that he will support it but politically and strategically he has to figure out how to make it happen.  In all likelihood what is going to happen is that he will go to the head of the practice group without telling me and start the conversation.

I did this at 8:15 this morning so I guess it made the day a bit awkward.  He told me later in the day that he hadn't had a chance to really think more about it.  I think what I need to do is take a step back from it, chill out, and just let it unfold.  It's going to work out the way it works out.  It's pretty much out of my control completely at this point, except to the extent I am able to push back a bit or assert myself a bit, it's generally out of my control.  That's kind of hard because I don't do well with uncertainty.

Can you believe I did it though?  I can't.  There is one glitch that may prevent me from moving until January, but there may not be anything I can do about that.  I may just have to suck it up and wait until January.  I am actually really angry about this particular fact for reasons I won't go into now, but I am trying to let it go.  It went better than I thought.  Different than I thought.  Not perfectly, not just exactly right - but I should just be glad it went the way it did because at least right now I am really within the realm of yes.

Just remember, however you think it is going to work out - it will not happen that way.  It never does.