I'm not buying it

So, I attempted to log into one of my credit cards online today to check the balance, and to my astonishment, my online access has been suspended - due to recent suspicious activity, the details of which cannot be disclosed due to a law enforcement investigation. What does this mean? This means that the company has had to take action, based upon a data security breach, and law enforcement has probably asked that they delay notification to affected individuals, so they can't notify, but they also have to take action so there is no further compromise of data. Naturally, like everyone else, I called.

Do these people think we are stupid? I've been through this before. My data has been stolen before and I have had credit protection ever since. (Oh, and I practice data privacy law, sadly, I am intimately familiar with these state laws, though this really isn't what I do regularly). I knew this was not an isolated incident because I had to wait forever, that means everyone is calling. Then, the woman on the phone tries to tell me that this is related to the "brand" conversion because a new entity has acquired the card company. Right. Cards are being issued in the new entity name, and new account numbers are being assigned in the process. Hmm. When Cingular became AT&T, a new account number was not required. When MBNA became Bank of America, a new account number was not required.

Then she tries to tell me that nothing is wrong with my account. Right, but that doesn't mean that my personal data hasn't been compromised, again. Then she asks if I am familiar with the TJ Maxx story, yes, and DSW and several others that I am prohibited from talking about due to the confidential nature of my involvement in the handling of the matter. And, what about TJ Maxx? How does this impact me? Well she says, they are giving everyone a new account number and having everyone re-activate their online account services in order to protect them from something like the TJ Maxx incident happening in the future. Right - and how is giving me a new account number going to protect me exactly - UNLESS MY DATA WAS STOLEN YOU MORON AND YOU ARE NOT TELLING ME. I mean, go ahead, give me a new account number, but this isn't going to protect you from losing it again. I AM NOT STUPID LADY.

So I said look, I want to know, what data was stolen, I want to know when, how and when can I sign up for the free credit protection that you are going to provide me? Oh yeah, and if something shows up on my credit report, in the meantime - what are you going to do to fix it?

Ma'am she says, this is part of a brand conversion. When was the last time a "brand conversion" had anything to do with a law enforcement investigation? Ma'am she says, all of our customers' online services have been suspended and everyone is being issued a new account number and card. Right, and a brand conversion is something that gets planned, gee, I don't know, with enough time to inform people that their account access will be terminated and a new account number provided. Ma'am, nothing is wrong with your account. I'm not worried about my account, I want to know who got my data? Was it encrypted? Ma'am. This must be one very big data breach you are experiencing if you have had to suddenly, and without warning terminate all online account activity and provide new account numbers. Ma'am, we are undergoing a brand conversion. Whatever lady. You better hope this is a brand conversion cause if it isn't, and I find out later that my data was stolen and you blatantly lied to me, I am going to be really fucking pissed and you are going to be sorry. (Okay, I didn't really say that part - but those of you who know me can imagine me having this phone conversation - I am quite good at it actually). The last time this happened, I actually told the poor guy off so good that I wished I could directly call him to apologize. It wasn't his fault. But I am sorry - waiting an entire month to notify of a security breach is just too long.

Then she says ma'am, do you have your credit card? Uh, yeah, it's right here in my wallet. What the hell does that have to do with anything?

You just wait, we are going to find out shortly here that AT&T UniversalCard, now Citibank, lost tens of thousands of peoples' personal data. I certainly hope not, but I won't be surprised.

She did also try to convince me that they are doing this during the brand conversion because "some" peoples' data was compromised through the TJ Maxx incident. Right, and how many months ago did that happen? I'm just not buying this.