Two celebratory cookies, a brownie and a raspberry bar because we have something to celebrate

My appointment was fine. There is one thing that I am worried about but I am trying to be rational. We feel something on the other side (or at the very least I do, and I think she did) but my doctor says it is a gland. Hmm. I have to keep telling myself that if she had any doubt in her mind, any at all, even a little, we would be checking and double checking and triple checking. I'm not totally comfortable with the fact that we aren't checking, but that's how sure she is that there is nothing there.

Now, what are we celebrating? We are celebrating that I passed the critical "two year" mark without incident and without even knowing it. You see, apparently, when they tell you that it is most likely to come back in the first 2 years - they count that two years from the date of diagnosis not the date of completing treatment. So two years came and went - right at the time that I was dreading my birthday and I didn't even know that I had something to celebrate.

Of course that doesn't mean it won't come back but - well, why can't I just be positive about it?! I passed the first hurdle. Now she says there is a 5-10% chance that it will come back in the next 8 years, and if it doesn't, then I am in the clear - it won't come back. She says there is even less chance of it showing up as a different incident rather than a recurrence. This is all based on the combination of factors, type of cancer, etc. Those aren't bad odds, right? My oncologist says that basically means that it isn't coming back, so I better figure out how to live.

I want to believe her, but I can't seem to. She's so confident about it that it scares me.

So, anyway, I am celebrating with my favorite things from my favorite bakery and you can have some too if you come visit me...Jod...!!