We are trying to sort out immigration issues and how to handle what we are doing. Whether it makes sense, whether we are going to run into trouble, what our options are etc. Our conversation didn't go well. Now I have to wait until tomorrow to talk to him. I hate that. I hate it when something goes wrong and then you have to wait to resolve it. Given how far apart we are, it is kind of important to me that we don't have unresolved issues and conflicts over Skype when we hang up. Now I get to worry about it all night. I don't think he is really in the mood to talk about it anymore right now and I don't want to bug him to.
On another note, it has been suggested to me that not changing my name because it is a hassle might not be the best reason. That's not the only reason, but that is certainly factoring into my thinking on it. I have other reasons, but maybe they are invalid. I can't figure out what outweighs what. I talked to him about it and of course he said it is up to me. He said though that it would make him really happy if I changed it, but that he wouldn't be upset if I didn't. Hmm. Do I change it because it would make him happy? I don't know. I confused right now. Not about him - it's just this immigration stuff is throwing me off and worrying me.
Also, I saw my doctor finally today about going off medication. To my surprise he was totally on board with the idea. I really thought he was going to object but he didn't. He said he thinks it is fine if I want to try that and see how I feel and of course cautioned me about mood instability. Duh to that but I am not really at all worried about how I am going to feel. The annoying thing is that it is going to take me 8 weeks to get off of it. I have to cut down to zero 50 mg at a time for two weeks at a time because there is a risk of having a seizure if you stop taking the drug too quickly. Not a huge risk that this will happen, especially because I am cutting it out slowly, but I am freaked out about it. I have read all kinds of horrible things on the Internet about the side effects of going off this drug. I really want off of it faster, but I feel like I have to follow his directions on this one. I wonder if I had known about this seizure risk upon stopping the drug, whether I would have gone on it in the first place.
Ugh. Today is just a great big UGH.
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