I hate the fact that I feel like I am making an unpopular choice. I suppose this is based almost solely on my mother's reaction. Why the hell is this bothering me so much? Since when do I really care if I have her approval or not for the decisions that I make? I'm still so angry about the things that she said to me when we talked, the accusations she made. I guess it some how escaped me just how damn judgmental she is. And after all of the accusations and nasty comments were made, she went on to tell me how she would accept whoever I choose. YEAH RIGHT. I'd like to know her definition of acceptance. I am pretty sure I won't be bringing him around much. And I am okay with that. He has a very loving, kind and generous family. So why not spend our free time with them. I am sure that my mother and maybe others are thinking this is like the situation when I had breast cancer and married the guy I was dating at the time, only for a short time. I can assure you it is not. I had known him for only 6 months, and I can tell you that when you think you are going to die, be left infertile, and that no one else will ever love you again, you make crazy choices when you have no other sources of support. You'd have to have been there, but no one showed up for me. Not even my parents. He was what I had so I settled for it out of fear. And no matter what anyone thinks, this situation is not like that situation.
Anyway, on to other things. His family is so excited, it's really sweet actually. His sister started crying when she found out that we want to be together. His mom and sister wanted to know if I had seen the TLC show Say Yes to the Dress, which of course I have, so I invited them to come to NYC to go to Kleinfeld and pick out a dress with me. Of course I have one that I am in love with. But being that he works in fashion, I really want him to like it. And he mentioned yesterday that he and his mom have a special shopping trip planned so that can only mean one thing - a ring! He wanted to know what I like so I sent him a few examples because I don't like anything plain, I like rings that look vintage or antique. I found a beautiful one to send as an example. I also prematurely started looking at places in my home town to have a wedding reception. Again, I don't want something plain, I want something kind of unique or different. And no traditional wedding vows - something different.
I never thought I could get this excited about a wedding. I was engaged once before to be married when I was 24 or 25 and I called that wedding off. It's funny, but this feels so much different. I didn't really want anything to do with the planning of that wedding. But this one, I can hardly wait. I already know that my mother isn't going to give a shit about the details, but his mom and sister are so excited that I will welcome their help and really appreciate it. My mom on the other hand is probably just going to show up.
Also, we've done some research and made some decisions. This is going to be really unpopular, but here goes. Because he is not a US citizen, the fastest way to get him working in the US is if we are married so he can apply for his green card. We are going to get married sooner rather than later so he can do t his, and then have a real wedding next year complete with everything! I might not tell this to very many people in my life. I might just keep it between you and me Internet and the few people who know me in real life who read this. In terms of getting married here in NY we are thinking possibly for my birthday in May. He can then file the paper work he needs to file. We are thinking the following May for a wedding.
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