Okay, so clearly I haven't made this okay for myself - this driving to work thing. But, here's the thing - it's "CTA dooms day" here in my city on Tuesday, and unless some sort of magic funding happens - rates are going up and routes are being cut. BOTH bus routes from my neighborhood are being cut. Can you believe that? How is everyone going to get to work? (Um, I'm going to drive). You might suggest that I walk two blocks the opposite direction and take the train - BUT no. You might also wonder why I don't purchase that $75 CTA card as per the comment on the previous post and take public transportation everywhere. Well, given that rates are going up and routes are being cut - I need to recalculate. But the truth is - I dismissed that idea before I even considered it because it is simply unrealistic for me (or rather, I am unwilling to do this).
I guess this really isn't about the weather at all - cause, well, I have a lot of coats. (Note that I walked to work today and I didn't enjoy it). This is really just a simple question of how much your time is worth. Mine is worth a lot apparently, at least $16 a day. It 's really pretty easy to rationalize actually (then why have you written so many posts about it?) - any time I spend commuting is a loss of my free time - not my work time. Because no matter what - I am going to work probably at least 2250 hours per year (that's in order to bill 2000). So - given that I leave the house by 7:30 a.m. every day, and don't get home on average until after 8 p.m. (whether I am at work or an AA meeting), it's important that I get there as quickly and as painlessly as possible. If I worked 9-5 - you can bet I would be taking public transportation. But all I want to do is get home by the end of the day or the end of a meeting and I am willing to pay a small fortunate to make it as easy as possible.
People frequently tell me that I should move farther away from my job - I should disconnect - separate myself - distance myself - and if I live farther away, it will be easier for me to do this. But why would I want to make getting there any more difficult? I actually think that the answer would be to move across the street from my job - I would love that. That would be the ideal - walk out of my house and into my office. I wouldn't even have to park and I wouldn't lose any time commuting. That is the best of both worlds. I seriously would love that.
You know what I think this is really about - I think I worry what people will think of me for driving to work. I imagine people thinking - all you do is whine and complain on your blog about how unhappy you are and how miserable you feel - but if you can afford to pay $320 per month to drive your car maybe two miles to work and park it, just for convenience - how bad can your life possibly be? Maybe you shouldn't complain so much. Well, I don't think I've ever actually said my life is bad - in fact - I've said it's great. It's just that it isn't the way I thought I wanted it to be and therefore because it doesn't meet my expectations, I feel unhappy about it. Anyway, I could have avoided the problem of judgment altogether by never mentioning it here. People who read this blog don't need to know how much I spend to park my car and people who don't read this blog think I'm happy (which makes paying to park seem more acceptable or something?).
Back to the driving thing - so I feel judged I guess. I feel like people think bad things about me because I waste so much money on parking. (when the truth is, no one really cares). I guess some part of me feels guilty or something. I have guilt about money - I have no problem spending it on other people, but I feel bad when I spend money on myself - whether it's parking or buying myself stuff that I want.
In any event - the short story is - I'm going to drive to work (except in the most ideal weather conditions) and love every second of it!
My mother called yesterday by the way - you know - my mother - the one who I thought I no longer had a relationship with...that might be the next post...
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