Post relief, uh no

I am officially on vacation, since, well, I walked out the door of my office.  My blackberry is buzzing and although I am resisting the urge to look at it, I have not been able to let go of the stress of my job.  And I need to let go of it damn quick because these days are limited in number.  These days are so few and far between that I really want to take advantage of them.

I was so anxious all day I could hardly stand it.  I have to be the only person anxious about going to a spa.  I think it's the little things about traveling that make me nervous but once I am underway I am fine.  I think.

I have been waiting an entire year for this trip.  Against my better judgment and the judgment of others, I have pinned my hopes on this trip.  I know what it's like to go to this place with expectations and without expectations and I can tell you it is absolutely better to go to there without any.  For sure.  No expectations open up a world of possibility.  Expectations are just plain dangerous.

So I am wondering if the opportunities that this trip is offering me, with the "experience" and all, I am actually having expectations about it.  I need to get rid of these expectations.  It's just that when you have waited a year for something, it's hard not to expect it will go a certain way.

At this point I would say I am open to this being life changing but not betting on it.  But ask me when I get there.  I might have changed my mind.