The other thing I didn't want to do last night

Clean up cat puke at 3:15 a.m. Why can't the cat puke at 8:30 p.m. on the hardwood floor? Why does he have to puke in the middle of the night on the Berber carpet? A couple of nights ago he puked on the bed at 3 a.m. But, in his defense, I let him. I was suddenly startled from a deep sleep by that unmistakable sound of a cat preparing to puke (you know what I'm talking about), and I realized that I could clean the pillow faster than I could clean the carpet - because - he was going to puke on "his" pillow and there were two pillow cases on it (long story) and I knew that if I could remove them swiftly enough it wouldn't soak through to the down pillow (gross). But then last night, there was no pillow case on his pillow so I had to heave him onto the floor. Anyway, this of course involved turning the light on, getting the carpet cleaner (and while I'm doing this, the cat is eating, cause that's what he always does when he pukes - goes right for the food bowl) - I am surprised I fell back asleep because I'm one of those people who once I am awake, I'm awake for the day usually.

If I didn't know better, I would think that my cat actually planned these things out (but of course he loves me, right?). It's like me going out of town for a week and leaving him (and of course I have someone come check on him at least every other day), and he obviously uses the litter box when I'm gone, but then 10 minutes after I get back, he stands right in front of me and pees on the floor. You know - thinking - you bad, horrible human, you left me alone, I'll show you. My vet doesn't think the cat is capable of such complex thinking and human like emotion - she says he can't plan things. I however disagree. Because why else would that cat go running from one end of the condo all the way to the other, round two corners, and then puke on the white fluffy bath mat that I just washed? Exactly.

Edited to add: the cat is fine by the way - he's not sick or anything. He has food allergies or possibly some digestion issues and eats special food - also known as "limited ingredient diet" which is made with other types of protein like duck, rabbit or venison (instead of chicken, beef etc), has only one type of carb, and limited fillers in it. I tried switching him to another food and well, it didn't work - cause that's what happens, he pukes. I wanted to switch him because his food is $40 a bag, but that's okay - I'd rather him be healthy etc. Poor kitty.