Doing okay

So I'm alternating between okay and not okay. Mostly I'm okay though. This morning I got up, worked out, went to an AA meeting, had coffee with my sponsor and two other women, and then went shopping. The meditation CD is going to have to wait for tomorrow because parking was a nightmare. Then I came home, had lunch, updated my Google reader with all the new blogs I have to read. Now I just need to update my blog with new links. I was trying to upload a picture of my puzzle, but it doesn't seem to be working for some reason - the upload isn't working. I'll try later. I might go to Target and waste money. I really want a new vacuum. The thought of a new vacuum excites me. Kind of pathetic. When this is over and everything is okay, I might buy an all new wardrobe. Just for fun. The AA meeting was outstanding actually. An 11th step meeting - all about spirituality and it was really really good. I was glad I went. I ran into this women there that I really like that I hadn't seen in a while. She said something that really helped me when I told her what was going on.

Mostly I've been distracting myself. Sometimes when I go through this - I think I need to find a better way to deal with it, because it's exhausting. Other times, I think I should just cut myself some slack and give myself a break. Maybe I am dealing with it pretty well, and in any case, the best way that I can.

There is a reason why I feel so upset about these MRIs, besides the obvious. I'll post the story later - tomorrow probably. It's going to make me seething mad to talk about it. So I don't talk about it, but I guess I should. For now, let's just say that not every last little part of me surviving breast cancer went smoothly - mostly it did - I basically survived breast cancer like nothing happened - but one thing did happen that ended with the head of the breast center calling me to apologize and me trying to figure out some way to sue the hospital and the doctors. And the result of what happened is that I feel a thousand times more upset about these MRIs than I probably otherwise would have. Can I claim emotional distress as my damages? Because that's the only damage I have from what happened, so far anyway.

So - before I work myself into a fit over this thing that happened (which may arguably be no big deal, but the point is, we will never know), I'll just leave it there for the moment.

More later...