This time the project is actually over - the last time I said it was over, on Tuesday, it wasn't actually over. We still had to get the hard copies out and then we decided we needed to supplement something, then we had to travel to the client - and now it is over. Coming down off the stress of it was instant this time. The second we walked out of there, I felt better. Normally it takes a few days - I freak out a little about having nothing to do, I can't figure out what to do with my time, I start to stress about the billable hours - this time - I'm glad to have the 70 hours back, I'm looking forward to a slower month, and I'd be fine just sitting on my couch for a few days watching bad t.v. in my pajamas. I felt the tension go out of my body immediately, and it felt great, and now I'm just tired. I almost went to bed at 7:30 - but that would have been bad - considering the time change - I would have been up in the middle of the night.
In reflecting on this whole experience - this project - I have to say, I actually handled the whole thing really well. I don't normally work that many hours and I maintained a really good balance of working and going to a lot of meetings. I was stressed - but never really freaked out about it. These are the types of situations where I really see the differences in myself between the way I am now and the way I used to be - in my ability to handle things and to maintain my serenity and meetings in the midst of stress. I see the program at work in other parts of my life when it comes to handling things. With respect to the project - it is probably the biggest project I've ever done - not in terms of fees or anything - because I worked on a really big deal last year - but considering I did the bulk of this project alone - it really is an accomplishment. The client was really happy with the whole thing, as were the partners and it is definitely something that is highly marketable and may generate work.
On an unrelated note - I paid off my entire private student loan in one lump sum a few days ago. That had me a bit freaked out - I mean, it cut my savings account in half. But I had talked to multiple financial people and they all agreed that I should pay it if I could and just keep saving for my down payment. It's hard to part with money like that - I have this real (and unfounded) fear of financial insecurity. No matter how much I make, it never really seems to go away. Which only leads me to believe that something else underlies it - it isn't really about the fear of financial insecurity. In any event - I have a good budget and I am planning to rent for one extra year - so I think it was the right thing to do. Although can you tell that I'm still freaked out about it? I still have debt - only student loan debt - that by no means got rid of it - it's just that the rest is federal so it is locked at a low rate. I may up the payment on that one though also.
Anyway - more to follow as I unwind from the past month...
2 comments:
Congratulations on paying off your private student loan. I struggle with financial issues and I know how it feels to be perpetually insecure.
Yayyy, very good paying off your student loan. I know it may seem like cutting off your nose by depleting your savings, but figure out what the interest was on that loan every month, then try to picture yourself burning that amount of money in a little bonfire.
Because that's what interest is, money we can never get back. Try and payoff your other student loan as fast as you can. Low interest rates are still money coming out of your pocket.
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