The book meme

Niobe tagged me for the book meme - so, here goes! Directions: Pick up the closest book. Open the book, turn to page 123, count down to the fifth sentence on that page, and then post the next three sentences. I tag Nina, Trey and Aunt Becky.

The book is: One Breath at a Time, Buddhism and the Twelve Steps, by Kevin Griffin.

"And I've also convinced myself that I'm with Cat because she needs my help. I take cocaine with her so that I'll be on her level and she'll be able to receive my spiritual message. The layers of self-deception are manifold."

Ah yes, self-deception - the layers, numerous and varied, of many kinds. I find it amazing sometimes how we deceive ourselves. Just how easy it is to convince ourselves of something - to lie to ourselves and believe that it's true. We (meaning I) do it, thinking we can get away with something. And then it doesn't work that way. It doesn't work that way because deep down you know you can't lie, even to yourself and get away with it. Once the denial has been lifted, you can't get it back.

Could the sentence have been more appropriate?

I'm getting off topic, but here's the thing, I did this to myself. This shitty place that I'm sitting right now, I did it to myself. And the reason is simple. It says it on page 62 of the Big Book, "Selfishness - self-centeredness! That we think is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so."