I don't claim to be all about proper punctuation - particularly here on my blog. I just don't really care. However, a strange thing happened today. I realized what a freak I actually am (well, jeez, it's about time isn't it?).
No, the project didn't get done on time. And yes that bothers me, but we have been missing deadlines left and right because we are all drowning. Anyway, the deadline isn't that big of a deal. I sent the work product to the client at noon today - and the fact is - it was only 1/4 of the complete product - the rest is due to be delivered next Monday through Wednesday.
And thank God for the junior associate because it took us both all day to pull the advice together. And, she sat there with me until 7:45 p.m. which was when I finally decided that it wasn't going out last night. And she listened to me stress about the phrasing of every other sentence and wondering whether my use of the words anticipate, expect, should, may, could, possibly - were sufficient - whether my advice was properly hedged in the event of an incorrect factual assumption.... She really did a great job helping me and I couldn't have gotten this out today without her.
Here's the thing - when I don't have a partner to sign off on something, I can edit it ad infinitum. I prefer it of course when I have partner approval - it always makes me nervous when he says send it and I don't want to read it. That's good though right - I mean, he trusts me, he thinks I know what I'm doing, he must think I write well. It's just that with this I was responsible for analyzing it, preparing it and delivering it without approval. And I realized how hard it was to cut myself off from the editing process and how stressful it is to be in the position of taking responsibility for the advice. I mean - I never have anyone looking over my shoulder and telling me how to do something - and I generally take a project from beginning to end myself - but I always have the partner to answer questions and give me final sign-off on something. It just seems like lately more and more responsibility is falling on me. More and more clients call me directly instead of the partner (because I am easier to get a hold of) - I just feel like the responsibility has doubled in the past few weeks. It's noticeable and sudden.
And with this particular project I didn't even have anyone to answer questions - it was like I was ultimately really responsible for the analysis and advice, and it really made me nervous even though I know what I am doing.
In the end though I was actually really happy with the work product and really comfortable with it. And then in a moment of panic, before I sent it - I had to re-assess my use of the comma and semi-colon through out - because, you know, wouldn't it concern you if your lawyer misplaced a comma (actually, would you know if your lawyer misplaced a comma)? Never mind the advice, it's the comma that matters. Like I said, when I write my blog or anything else, who the hell has time to care about commas etc. (sorry Nina, by the way, you should read Nina). But when it comes to my work, I am meticulous about every last little detail.
So what I learned from this particular project is that my job is becoming stressful in new ways that it didn't used be (gee, making partner looks less interesting after the week I've had), and that I may not be the easiest person to work for - my standards are pretty damn high when it comes to putting my name on something.
(I'm not really going to mention that I have to work this weekend and that I'm bitter about it. I also won't go into detail on how I screwed myself over by not working after noon today so that you can at least feel a little sorry for me that I am going to work on Easter.)
1 comment:
First, I'm wondering if this kind of responsibility is the norm for associates at your level in that firm? If so, yes, things will continue to get more stressful, but you will adapt and feel more able to handle it over time.
And no your standards aren't to high. Recently a case in Ontario was lost due to the incorrect placement of commas and semi-colons. Rogers Corp. I believe? Maybe Rogers Communications? Anyway, meticulous is good, you should feel proud that you know how to write well!
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